99 Problems Communication is “1”

You don’t have to struggle in silence. You can be un-silent. You can live well with a mental health condition, as long as you open up to somebody about it.

Demi Lovato

Let’s continue our talk from last week about getting to the root of the problem. So, sit down, take off your Mask and get ready to heal! Let’s talk about communication which is usually the root cause of most problems. Communication is the key to any relationship whether that is with friends, family, or co-workers. Communication can be very hard if you come from a family like mine who rarely does that. You know the families that just brush things under the rug until they don’t have room anymore and one day everything just comes pouring out. Yeah! That’s my family, and probably yours also. So, maybe if we can learn communication early, we can put an end to the generational curses. If your parents or guardians didn’t talk to you, try and do it different in your lifetime. Try to talk out loud to friends and family about what’s going on with you. It’s hard, I know I haven’t even mastered it yet. This is just a starting point for all of us.

          Talking to someone about everything that’s going on with us mentally can be hard and nerve wrecking. How do you start the conversation? What will they think? Literally, every thought comes popping in your head. It’s called overthinking. I never want my family to think any different of me or walk on eggshells around me. I don’t want to use my Mental Health as an excuse for anything that happens in my life but being able to explain the root cause of the issue is a major plus. It can be a difficult situation to bring up in a random conversation especially if you’re the one starting it. I hear it being said, “Let’s pray about it”, or “don’t speak that over your life”. Sometimes we don’t want to hear let’s pray! We need to hear I got your back. Prayer doesn’t work without action, it’s like planting a flower but never allowing it to get sunlight or water. Pointless right.

          At some point in your life you are going to have to stand firm in your truth and say I need help. Now, whether people accept that or not it’s ok. Like we said at the beginning of the Blog. It’s Ok not to be ok but standing in your own truth is necessary. Sometimes talking to a therapist is necessary because they are unbiased. A current stigma is that if you have to receive medication for your Mental Illness you are considered weak. I’m here to say that you are not weak, you are just doing what is necessary for you. Getting to the root cause of your issues is not comfortable, but you must allow yourself to feel vulnerable enough to talk to someone. For example, with root cause analysis you have a problem that lies about the surface which is obvious, but the real problem is below surface that is like the root of  the plant or tree those are the contributing factors or the underlying issues that need to be attacked first even if they are planted deep down. I had to be vulnerable and find someone to talk to and because of me being vulnerable all my therapist have been great! Each one has helped me in a different way, and yes, I also take medication as needed.

Communicating that you are having a bad day or withdrawn and can’t be specific about the problem is hard to tell someone without them looking at you like you are crazy. When I’m around family and friends and I get that uneasy feeling, I was just faking it until I was able to cry behind closed doors! (Hiding behind the Mask). I don’t feel like I have a shoulder too lean on because I’m worried about being a burden on people. My room is my safe place. Find yours until your able to talk about it out loud.

          Mental Health Awareness is serious, and it’s not talked about enough. We need to be aware of the signs. The one’s on the outside don’t always know the signs so it’s up to us to help them by talking. We need to be able to educate each other but, we also need to stay educated. My second parents always tell me to learn to communicate and talk about it before it gets worse so people can know what to expect and know what there dealing with and how to help.

          In conclusion there are a lot of Destany’s out there. Unable to communicate, scared of what people may think, and lonely because we spend a lifetime behind a mask faking who we really are and not allowing your true self to breathe. By allowing the mask to come off you will feel at peace and let me tell you there is no better feeling than that. You must protect your peace at all cost, but that’s another conversation for another day. Buying a journal will save your life. Everything that you can’t say out loud you can write in your journal to relieve yourself. This blog is my journal because I don’t mind being transparent and letting you know my flaws if it is helping someone. So, take off your mask and let’s talk!

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